Timing. Wait For It.

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“Practice the pause.” Lori Deschene

Even though I had no idea how to get started, I made a list of writing goals and included ghostwriting. On this day five years ago, one of my writing mentors needed to complete a manuscript within 30 days, so she asked if I’d take over her ghostwriting assignments from an international speaker for a month.

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That’s right, she sent me an email about ghostwriting on Halloween Day. That struck me as funny, and every October 31st since then, I’ve thought about timing.

Around this same time three years ago, my daughter and son-in-law made offers on at least five houses in Upstate South Carolina, only to have every single one fall through. When they slowed their search and he submitted a work application in another town, my son-in-law had the job he wanted within a month and they had a house in an area our daughter had always wanted to live.

A similar thing happened to my son and daughter-in-law. They negotiated for months on a price and a repair list for a house they thought they wanted to buy. After giving up on working with the unreasonable seller, a house came available within walking distance of the college where our daughter-in-law is working on her master’s degree. They now live in a downtown area and just blocks from popular restaurants and quaint shops.

My husband and I have our beach house for sale. During July 4th weekend, we received an offer and accepted it. We were disappointed the buyers never showed back up because we had our eye on a more spacious house with a backyard big enough for a pool. We questioned whether to lower our price so we could sell faster and go ahead with our plan. Since then, we’ve had downpours and a hurricane skirt the coast, which left the backyard of our would-be house with at least two inches of sitting water where we planned to add the pool.

This week, we are looking at a different house (out of the flood zone) that’s more space for less money. It has the pool we hoped to add and a garage that my husband wanted, but almost gave up on. In fact, it has every single thing we want down to a screened in porch and a fireplace.

If any of us could have convinced ourselves that our timing was better than God’s, we would have been all about fast forwarding our plans. We all said the same thing, though, “Something doesn’t feel quite right. “ In hindsight, we figured out it’s not wise to rush #GettingYourOwnLife when all the signs say “no.” We’ve all learned a thing or two about practicing the pause.

What’s been worth “the pause” even when you weren’t sure you were supposed to be waiting?

In This Together,
Kim

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13 responses »

  1. A Time and Season for everything under heaven… Don’t you just love it? Amazing the things that can happen when we get out of the way…

    • I do love it, Joel. And I love what you said about what can happen when we get out of the way. Isn’t that the truth? A lot of the depression I suffered from was my lesson in that very thing, getting out of the way. If I hadn’t been knocked off my feet, I’d still be in other’s business and they’d still be counting on/resenting me. HUGE lesson!

  2. Such wisdom, Kim!

    From a rather different perspective, in executing an efficient ambush, you absolutely have to wait until the opposition is deep into the kill zone. It’s so hard!

    And from the other side, most indigenous fighters WILL trip an ambush too early, allowing one the chance to escape, or (worse for them) attack into the ambush and win. Been there, done that. Don’t have the t-shirt but I do have some holes in me.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/10/your-dying-spouse-226-land-of-look.html

    • Andrew, I think it’s fascinating that most of life teaches the same basic lessons over and over, like your ambush stories, yet we’re so blind, hardheaded, or both that it takes hundreds of times to “get it.” At least it does for me.

      I like when you share a different perspective. It helps bring my point into clearer focus for me, especially since I’m a visual learner. I could “see” the ambush. Yeah, that drives a point home!

  3. Fabulous post Kim!! God’s timing is always perfect! I’ve learned this lesson so many times and am still learning it. Or maybe I’m just learning to trust it. I love looking back and seeing how He works and knits everything together. Good luck on the new house!

    • Thanks, JJ. I’d like to have a little hindsight ahead of time. 😉

      I’m with you, I am finally learning to TRUST it. When the situation is getting complicated and I feel myself winding up to take control, I take a deep breath and a step back. 🙂 This practice saves me a lot of time and energy.

  4. Kim what a great blog!!! When my 2 youngest kids moved out on the same day and the prematurely empty nest forced me into early retirement I felt lost. My Bible study revealed an interesting pattern associated with many “insignificant” people that God was eventually able to use in magnificent ways. Prior to their ministry they spent time in the desert or wilderness. During that time they encountered separation and challenge, and began developing a relationship and reliance on God. During my first lost year of empty nest I prayed a lot for guidance and purpose and tried to wait and follow my inner compass. I felt joy when painting so I did workshops and waited for my “real purpose” to become clear. One day a gallery owner literally knocked on my door, wanted to show my work, and offered me a short term job. That morphed into a long term job that eventually involved teaching and becoming a professional artist. Now I can truly say that I feel as if I’m where I’m supposed to be and doing what I’m meant to be doing…at least for now. Serendipity is generally my signal that Gods on board with the plan. When I’m banging my head against a wall, I try to wait. Not always easy, but generally worth it.

    • Rebecca, the beginning of our creative journeys were so similar. MIne also began around the time my two children moved out within two weeks of each other, and I was lost even though I thought I wanted the freedom to finally live my own life. The problem was, I had no how to get started on me because I had attended to others for so long.

      I absolutely love your story about finding your purpose and becoming a professional artist. ❤ It gives me much-needed hope right now since I'm on a bumpy path with my writing. I thought I was where I wanted to be, but things change and I changed, and now I'm off in another direction. Still writing, but very different than when I started with magazine and newspaper articles.

      I appreciate you sharing here and sharing your talent generously in your art studio. ❤ I've loved learning from you both artistically and spiritually.

  5. From Facebook (Kim Henson) ~

    Beth Stallings Odom, Laurie Bruun and 16 others

    1 share

    Summer Turner Another good one, Kim! Sharing…
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · October 31 at 5:01pm

    Kim Henson Thanks for sharing, Summer Turner. I want to find yours again. I had it open to read yesterday when something happened … I think a phone call. #easilydistracted 🙂
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 9:04am

    Joel Carter Left a comment on the blog page Kim. “A Time and Season for everything under Heaven” Just how do we learn to fit into that timing, patience and willingness to accept the higher power. I loved the “coincidences of the dates and the examples how better things came while waiting…all part of the journey of life.
    Unlike · Reply · 2 · October 31 at 5:11pm

    Kim Henson I love that scripture, Joel Carter. Sometimes I’ve read it, taken a deep breath, and run right past it to make something happen. 😉 When I posted this blog post, I realized how far I’ve come with being patient and waiting and sitting still until things feel right. Life is so much calmer like this! Thanks for you comments here and on my blog.
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 12:24pm

    Jenine Marie Howry I never used to be good at waiting. Im getting better because I have often seen the good things that go on in the gap
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · October 31 at 5:20pm

    Kim Henson Jenine Marie Howry, I love “the good things that go on in the gap.” ❤ It's so true. I wasn't patient either for many years, but it sure pays off. Sometimes I wonder what I raced by and missed.
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 12:07pm

    Maria Franken very good! I always say, "timing is everything!" lol
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 9:56am · Edited

    Kim Henson Maria Franken, me too! I say it a LOT.
    Like · Reply · November 1 at 12:24pm

    Delilah Lewis In Gods timing things will happen Kim.💕
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 11:45am

    Kim Henson So true, Delilah Lewis. ❤ I'm happy I've stopped trying to force God to have the same timeframe as mine. He's not very cooperative. LoL. 🙂
    Like · Reply · November 1 at 12:25pm

    Linda Hopkinson God has a plan and when we are willing to PAUSE and let His Plan unfold… we always come out better. It is hard to know though when you are just sitting back and you SHOULD be doing something… Loved your blog as always Kim ❤
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 12:18pm

    Kim Henson Linda Hopkinson, I love what you added about it being hard to know when to sit back and when to do something. That's what happened in the middle of looking at the house we thought may be the right one. We looked at it 4 times with an real estate agent …See More
    Like · Reply · November 1 at 12:31pm

    Kim Henson Thanks for your comment! ❤
    Like · Reply · November 1 at 12:31pm

    Christy Young He knows better for us than we do.
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 12:37pm

    Kim Henson He sure does, Christy Young. It just took me a while to figure that out and then a while longer to actually get out of the way. 🙂 #callmeaslowlearner
    Like · Reply · November 1 at 12:55pm

    Christy Young I am a repeat learner Kim. Stubborn human. 😦
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 1:05pm

    Kim Henson Christy Young, we're not quitters. LoL.
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 1:22pm

    Christy Young There you go!
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 1:29pm

    Jean Steen Patience…sometimes it's so easy and then, bam it all goes out the window! I really have to work on it Kim! I know the Lord gets tired of my prayer for patience…but, so blessed that he loves me anyway.
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 4:34pm

    Kim Henson Jean Steen, that's how my whole life goes. I think I've got something under control, and that's the very moment I don't. I probably need to write about that lesson! 😀 And why would you ever pray for patience? No. No. No. Lol.
    Like · Reply · November 1 at 11:13pm

    Kim Henson Funny pic from a friend's page. Thanks for sharing, Debbie Johnson. This is perfect for this post. 😀
    Kim Henson's photo of ghostwriter
    Like · Reply · 3 · November 1 at 11:14pm · Edited

  6. From Facebook (Summer Turner’s Success for Introverted Women) ~

    Do you “practice the pause” and trust, or do you push ahead? I’ve learned to trust divine order and honor that “not quite right” feeling. How about you?
    Show Attachment

    Kim Henson I love your overview, Summer Turner. ❤ Thanks for sharing.
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 12:34pm

    Summer Turner’s Success for Introverted Women I'm loving your empowering blog posts, Kim!
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 12:37pm

    Kim Henson Summer Turner’s Success for Introverted Women, thanks again. I just read yours and it's great. Left a comment on your FB page.
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 1 at 12:43pm

  7. Kim

    Before I make a serious decision to change something, I try to stop and review what I have. More times than not I have more than I need and more than I would gain from the change. change brings costs with benefits. Good time to get out my scale.

    Bob

    • This is a wise statement, Bob. I read years ago, there’s no need to move forward until you’re grateful for what you already have. Not the same as what you said, but I think it’s similar. Anytime I’m “weighting” a decision about a big change, this advice about gratitude comes to mind.

      Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

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