It’s Always Something

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“There are no guarantees. There are no promises, but there is you, and strength inside to fight for recovery. And always there is hope.” Gilda Radner

Before I ever finished the first chapter, I threw away Gilda Radner’s book about living and dying with ovarian cancer, It’s Always Something. She sounded cynical and I didn’t like it. In hindsight, maybe I didn’t like it because it’s true …

It’s always something.

My son texted, “I believe 2017’s going to be a great year.” I texted back, “I think so too,” but troubling was a message I’d read about our bishop being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and we’d just joined the church the week prior to the news. My husband and I talked about how, for the first time, we felt like we were going “home” – to a community where we’ve always wanted to live, to a house well-matched for us, and to a church with a spiritual foundation we didn’t even know we needed. “Shaken by the news” was an understatement, but I knew I didn’t want dread to wreck 2017’s possibilities, and that’s when it came to mind …

It’s always something.

I remembered Gilda’s book. Since I threw it away some 20 years ago, but still recalled it, I realized, like it or not, the first chapter made an impression. I found the chapter online and read it again. I still didn’t like it, but I understood more and accepted more because …

It is always something.

As far back as I remember, I’ve wished for all to be right in the world. Just once. Maybe for 24 hours. Maybe just 24 minutes. Like the part of the Lord’s Prayer that says, “ … on Earth as it is in Heaven,” so I pictured Jesus saying we’d have perfect times here meaning total perfection down to no dog hair on the floor, which is why I chunked Gilda’s book. She messed up the fairytale. Of course, a lot of things mess up fairytales because …

It’s always something.

I worked hard at having a clean house and laundry; a mowed, raked and edged lawn; washed and detailed vehicles; and a spiritually, physically, and emotionally balanced family (my husband, grown children, and their families) – all on the same day. But perfection’s elusive because …

 It’s always something.

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Addiction muddles love stories. A wayward child worries a mom’s heart. Financial difficulties unsettle financial security. Illness ruins retirement plans. The perfect partner doesn’t complete us after all. #whilelovingthepeopleinit

Disruptions happen like not being paid for a job, not landing a job, waiting for medical tests, waiting for a return call, and waiting to feel better, be skinnier, and get stronger. There’s a broken washing machine and dreams that break instead of flourish. There’s stress from car accidents, a car engine that won’t start, inclement weather, and, like our friends had happen, a tree falling on their house that caused tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage leading to a bout with the insurance company.

It could be a distraction as simple as spilled milk, and in spite of being told, “Don’t cry over it,” …

It’s always something.

Another story I’ve never been crazy about goes something like this: if we put our problems in a pile and have to swap them out for other problems, we’d end up taking back our own. I balked for a long time, but now I’m buying into it. I can’t think of a person on this planet with whom I’d swap lives. Not one, and it’s because I don’t want their problems.

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Our stories are about choice, like Gilda’s story too. She wrote about the bad and the beautiful. Our stories are the same. We live in vicious cycles alongside victories. I’ve been noticing my downward cycles are easier to pay attention to than perfect moments, I’m guessing because I’m human more than holy. I have to be intentional about taking my eyes off difficulties and getting my feet off slippery slopes like the past and future, and onto the present holy ground.

#selfcaringin2017 #gettingyourownlife #gettingyourownlifenow

I’m still not sure I’ll read Gilda’s book even though I’ve accepted “it’s always something,” and I treasure her saying, “And always there is hope.” My son’s right, 2017 will be great even with moments muddled and muddied because …

It’s always something, and sometimes it’s something beautiful.

What I love best about bringing this to light is we get to muddle together and hope together and we get to go through our “somethings” together. I appreciate sharing our passages, whether excursions or episodes, with each other. And while we’re together, please pray for Bishop Chuck Murphy because some of our “somethings” are scarier than others.

In This Together,
Kim

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14 responses »

  1. This blog was so appropriate for “the now”, “the past”, and “the future”. There’s always going to be something”! I try to remember that what is most important is not what happens, but how we deal with the “something that happens”! That’s where my relationship with God impacts what I do! Loved the blog as I do your others. I’m just so happy that “it’s always something” includes you in my life as my friend and sister-in-law”. I have you to call on with the laughs and the tears. I’m just thankful that we can find more to laugh about. See how God helps us both deal with “it’s always something”. He helps us find the humor in the smallest things. 😊

    • Oh, Debbie, I’m so happy I just found this! What a wonderful comment. Yes, I’m delighted we’re there for each other when “it’s always something.” I feel very fortunate to have you in my family and as one of my dearest friends. ❤ And we're good laughers, for sure. It's always something and lot of times, especially with us, it's always something funny. 🙂

    • Wow, Andrew – that’s a lot to share in three sentences. Believing what you wrote (and I do) has helped me accept things I used to resent, and even have gratitude for them.

      There’s no telling how many lives you’ve touched because of what you’re going through. I know you’ve made a difference here. ❤

  2. Great thoughtful post, Kim. I spent my life “trying to be perfect” when in reality I’m the least perfect person around. And that need to be something I wasn’t caused anxiety and panic attacks. I could work around that because I was young/younger and convinced that life was this incredible beautiful journey that would only become even better. Plus life was more fun than angst-ridden so…
    Though I always knew that the mind and body worked in tandem with each other, I didn’t count (think about) on my body rebelling.
    None of us are perfect. Accepting ourselves for who we are and realizing that yes, “there’s always something,” but in the end the somethings are so small compared to the mosaic that makes our lives is important. And oh so hard to learn.
    ~pia

    • That’s it, Pia … “And oh so hard to learn.” I’ve known so much of this stuff I blog about for so long because it’s been in my head. And if I ever talked about it with anyone, I talked from my head. To learn it, though – and I mean really LEARN it – it’s had to be a heart thing. I looked up synonyms for learn: grasp, master, take in, absorb, assimilate. Yeah, those aren’t things I’ve done much of until the last 10 years.

      I appreciate any nudge towards my spirit. Thanks, Pia. ❤

  3. Kim

    Gilda was one of my favorite comedians. Little things like the “sweatballs on her nose” would throw her off. Her book is one of the few I have read that brought “faith renewing” tears to my eyes.

    Bob

    • Bob, I’m so happy I brought Gilda and her book into this post. I love stories of contrast – you learned from her in one way, and I learned from her in an opposite, and just as significant, way. That’s always amazing to me! ❤ It helps with my own writing, too. If someone hates it, maybe it'll still help them.

      Who knows, because of your comment, I may pick up her book again. Thanks. ❤

  4. It is always something, but if we look for the things that are beautiful and heartwarming, they will be there. I’ve seen it in my life and in the tragic circumstances surrounding many of my patients while I was a nurse. There is always something to be grateful for. Sometimes we just have to look harder than others. That search becomes a cultivation of gratitude, and that practice DOES make life better, even if our circumstances don’t change.

    Praying for your bishop…for strength and healing, and that those who know him will have the ability to show him the love that will no doubt sustain him on his journey. Your heart and your words are a pleasure to share. Love always, Rebecca

    • Rebecca, thank you greatly for prayers for Chuck! ❤ I appreciate it and I know he and his family will also. He said the response has been "breathtaking." Somehow that made me able to take my own deep breath.

      Love your comment! ❤ There is always something beautiful and thank-worthy in it all. Always. A friend and i were sharing last night about how guilty we both felt during our bouts with depression since we weren't able to feel gratitude. We knew we should, we had plenty to be grateful for. Friends offered gratitude as the antidote, but it didn't work because I'd numbed out. Not with drugs, just numb trying to escape pain. It was a scary two years, but you know what? It was beautiful too. It was ashy and dark and isolated. I've never been so afraid, but there's something now about looking back that is simply breathtaking – my new favorite word. I'm more alive because of the dead time, so there you go – always, always, always something beautiful and heartwarming. And I have compassion now more than ever. And I have beautiful friends like you who've shown up since then. ❤ I love you, Rebecca!

  5. I don’t think I fully appreciated all the blessings in my life until a really big something happened–my husband’s illness. Every day brings a new heartache, yet every day also brings something to appreciate, whether it’s the warm, sunny weather in February or my yoga class. We moved to SC for the perfect life and the perfect retirement, and it has been anything but perfect, and yet I have learned so much about myself and about life. When I was head of the church council in PA, people would often tell me they were leaving the church for one reason or another. I wished them well and said I hoped they would find what they were looking for. What I didn’t say was, they would not find the perfect church or the perfect house or spouse or whatever on earth because “it’s always something.” Just when you think you’re “home” you realize that earth is not our true home, and until we reach that heavenly home we will always find something that’s not right. I continue to love your approach to keeping it real and am enjoying your return to blogging and making videos because the world needs to see/hear what you have to say.

    • I’ve always been afraid of arriving at a point where I wished I’d appreciated all of it more, but I also know I can’t force my own acceptance, and I have to accept to appreciate because nothing is perfect.

      It’s been a long and rocky road for me. I’ve thrown so many tantrums at God because life’s not fair, all the while lecturing my kids about life not being fair. I have a friend who often says, “Suck it up, buttercup.” I laugh out loud every time because she doesn’t realize how much I need to hear it. She thinks I practice what I preach more than I do. I’m grateful for friends who ignore the worst and see the best. 😉

      I’m not sure anyone, including myself, recognized how much like Cinderella I’ve wanted to be except Betty. She’d strip away the fairytale every time, and gently nudge me to accept life on life’s terms. Even with help, though, I’ve been a hard case to break. I lived in a fantasy for so long to escape pain that showing up and accepting life seemed foreign.

      I’m grateful and relieved to have written this post because I needed to hear myself say over and over “it’s always something” and accept it’s okay.

      I love your comments, always. ❤

  6. From Facebook (Kim Henson) ~

    Ruby Sessions Hart, Kalli Norton and 4 others

    Natalie Rakoci SO true. We never arrive and not having that expectation is so freeing! Its never life will be Perfect when _____ happens, then_____ and on and on. As Glennon / Momastary says. Brutiful. And just ‘do the next right thing’.
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · February 13 at 11:55pm

    Kim Henson I appreciate the description “brutiful.” It really does describe life. It is FREEING to drop off the expectations!
    Like · Reply · 1 · February 14 at 2:12am

    Natalie Rakoci I like control and “medium/cool”, balanced plate rather than roller coasters. And it IS healthier so I go fot that, all while realizing, the next something is coming! Ty for such a gut sharing, honest, eloquent reminder!
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · February 13 at 11:59pm

    Kim Henson Thanks for reading and commenting, Natalie Rakoci! I like balance too, and knowing to expect (while not fearing) “something” helps with that.
    Like · Reply · 1 · February 14 at 2:14am

  7. From Facebook (Kim Henson) ~

    Maria Franken, Jennie Hines and 9 others
    Comments
    View 1 more comment

    Sally Smith I am wiping away the tears. This is beautiful, Kim. I am blessed to call you my friend.
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · February 12 at 7:29am

    Kim Henson Sally Smith, you and our group of friends have helped me get through so many “somethings.” I’m the blessed one, for sure. ❤ I love you!
    Like · Reply · February 12 at 3:15pm

    Dan Gray Thanks for sharing this quote, Kim. It is very meaningful to me right now. Dan
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · February 12 at 3:39pm

    Kim Henson I appreciated the quote too, Dan Gray. I hope all is well with you and your family.
    Like · Reply · 1 · February 12 at 8:42pm

    Jenine Marie Howry Those baskets in the laundry place remind me when I used to have to go there and take all my kids when they were little. I HATED those rolling basket things because I could not keep at least one of my kids off of them! UGH
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · February 12 at 5:03pm

    Kim Henson Lol, Jenine Marie Howry. I bet that was a fun excursion. 😉
    Like · Reply · February 12 at 8:43pm

    Jenine Marie Howry Well, it might be an endearing memory now but it was frustrating then! LOL
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · February 12 at 9:14pm

    Lyn Snyder I have no control of my laughter😅😄😊❤️
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · February 13 at 12:09am

    Kim Henson You ain't right either, my friend! 🙂 Love you, Lyn!
    Like · Reply · February 13 at 12:30am · Edited

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