Waiting Well (what do we do while we wait for Irma?)

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“My mother taught me, when I was a little girl, that when anything very dreadful happens, I must think of what I would be doing if it had not happened, and then do that.

This excerpt comes from a World War II story about an Englishwoman who greeted her minister at the door when he showed up to let her know about her husband’s death. The woman interrupted his news and invited him in for tea. He was astounded by her hospitality in the midst of sorrow.

My wish isn’t so much about receiving bad news with grace, although I want that too, as it is about waiting with that same grace. It’s about waiting well.

Since last October, I’ve waited on Hurricane Matthew to come and go close by our beach house; the fires to extinguish at Table Rock near our mountain house; news about my car’s engine that quit running; my son’s cancer diagnosis and surgery and follow up; a scare related to he and his wife’s unborn baby (he’s just fine, by the way); my father-in-law’s brain injury and imminent death; and negotiations and paperwork on property we ended up buying. Before we build on it, we have to sell the home we’re living in now.

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We wait.

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter-in-law labored over their first baby for 30 plus hours. If not for my anxiety, it would have been comical how our phone calls and texts fit the theme of my year …

Wait and wait some more.

Along with tens of thousands of other Southerners, I’m watching and wondering about Irma, a category 5 hurricane that threatens our beach house with storm surge and both our beach and mountain houses with high winds and flooding.

More waiting.

I’ve cared about friends who’ve gone through similar ordeals this year. Several waited for results from medical tests. A couple of them received unwanted and downright scary news. Two friends waited on knee surgeries. They’re now working through and waiting on recovery. One friend waited for months on funds she’s been promised again and again. Another waited to find out if her husband would ever coach again. He won’t, at least not at the high school where he dedicated his time, talent, and care for 34 years. Then there are my two mom friends who haven’t heard from their sons in a while, one who’s fighting fires and one who is fighting addiction, so they wait.

Sometimes we get our way after all the waiting like when we were approved for a loan to purchase the lot we stumbled on and fell in love with. Sometimes we don’t, like my husband’s dad dying even though we hoped he’d bounce back like after his heart attack and cancer. This is when we wait to find the good in what didn’t go our way.

Because waiting is inevitable and results are unpredictable, the best we can hope for is to wait well.

I’m aggravated by how much time Hurricane Irma has already taken up and without one iota of anything productive to show for it. I’ve checked her path too often, but not as much as I would have if it hadn’t been for y’all. I’m more accountable when I’m writing about how I act. However, I’ve still squandered time on The Weather Channel and Facebook to get updates that are speculation.

So, what does it look like to wait well?

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Martin Luther said, “Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.”

Isn’t his quote beautiful, full of grace and faith, and an exemplary example of waiting well?

And hard … isn’t it hard?

It is for me. It’s easier to wait until life gets easier. It’s hard enough to do my own life under ideal circumstances, much less high winds of stress. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, I’ll wait until things settle down and then I’ll take care of _____ (fill in the blank with whatever is my next project).

I’m almost 60 and guess what? Things aren’t settling down, so I need to. I want to. 

I’ve gotten into the habit (again) of holding my breath and waiting for “this too shall pass.” I noticed I’m mostly waiting instead of living. When I quit teaching, I promised myself I’d never live like this again, waiting all week and every week for Friday afternoons so I could breathe, only to dread Sunday evenings because it meant going back to work on Monday.

But I didn’t make a plan. I didn’t ask, “How can I wait well?” So, I’m asking now.

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For today, instead of checking The Weather Channel 13 dozen times, I can finish writing this blog post, find images to post with it, and maybe help one other person change their focus too. It’s already helping to change mine.

For today, instead of fretting over “what ifs,” I can hang artwork I recently bought as a focus for decorating the home we plan to build. I’d hate for the painting to be ruined during a storm, though, but it won’t fit in my car anyway, so hang it.

For today, instead of calling my husband with my concerns, I can settle my soul by reading and saying a prayer like “God, help us.” Besides, John’s busy helping customers secure their properties. He’s already found a way to wait well.

I could go on and on comparing less productive scenarios to more productive ones, but I’ve made the point. We can live today or waste it. We hear “today is all we have,” but we don’t live like we believe it. Even though I’d appreciate living under less stress than that of the past year, I believe the answer isn’t in wishing my circumstances were different, but in being different myself. As I practice waiting well, life will be well.

I’d love to hear from you about ways you wait well. It’s another way we can help each other with “getting your own life while loving the people in it.”

Praying for Houston and all who are in Irma’s way. Be safe and know I love y’all dearly.

In This Together,
Kim

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24 responses »

    • Hahahaha, Andrew … either cornered the supply or dead. Good one! 😀

      Misery does like company, but I hate it, so I’m finding ways not to go there. Laid back is a good thing no matter who you irritate.

      I’d be honored for you to share the post. Thank you!

    • Thanks so much, Mary! ❤ I had to force myself to shut down The Weather Channel since I can't tell y'all one thing and do another. Writing this woke me up to how much time I spend waiting poorly. I appreciate your comment.

  1. Thank You…..& must share my verse from a “waiting” game I was starring in some years back……Psalm 27 ….
    “The Lord is my light & my salvation; whom shall I fear?…..”
    “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, & He shall strengthen thy heart; wait, I say, on the Lord.”

  2. From Facebook (Kim Henson) ~

    Holly Massey, Kathryn Bowers Rothenberg Kahn and 61 other

    5 Shares

    Jo Davidson wow that’s beautiful
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 8 at 5:35am

    Kim Henson Thanks so much, Jo Davidson!
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 12:30am

    Sara Wise Such a great post! I’m a pacer, an anxious nibbler, a putterer. I flit around seemingly doing things but really doing nothing while trying to shrug off the anxiety and helpless feeling. Physical activity helps. Organizing my pajama drawer helps. Praying helps.
    Love · Reply · 3 · September 8 at 6:16am

    Kim Henson Sara Wise. again, I think we could be twins. I do all this stuff and more. Physical activity does help, but I have to be careful not to exhaust myself running in circles. That only lands me in a puddle of tears. This stuff is so stressful! Happy we can all breathe a little easier for the moment. #prayingforFlorida
    Like · Reply · 2 · September 10 at 12:32am

    Sara Wise Kim Henson yes! I have psoriatic arthritis. My threshold for activity is a lot lower than it used to be. Every activity has an emotional, mental, and physical price. Once I run out of energy I’ve got to rest. It’s hard because I want to accomplish so much more each day than I am able to. 🙂 I appreciate that God wants me to have rest. This is probably because I refused to nap in kindergarten. Fear of missing out. 😉
    Like · Reply · 2 · September 10 at 7:18am

    Kim Henson Sara Wise, I get it! My rest came in the form of depression. It’s weird how much I now appreciate the two-year bout I had of it that was a lot more severe than the low grade depression I’ve lived with most of my life. During those 24 months, I had to r…See More
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 3:09pm · Edited

    Mary Lancaster Awesome
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 8 at 6:58am

    Kim Henson Thanks so much, Mary Lancaster!
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 12:33am

    Tammy James Quinn I’m like Sara, I run around and do things so.i don’t scream out loud. It’s true that praying helps. ❤
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 8 at 7:52am

    Kim Henson Tammy James Quinn, I’m like Sara also. Sometimes I just have to sit still and feel how afraid I am. Otherwise, I’ll run and work and worry myself into a tizzy. It helped to write this and to pray often.
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 12:35am

    Lisa D Tower-Couture I love this, Kim! Now, off to water aerobics……
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 8 at 7:55am

    Kim Henson Lisa D Tower-Couture, water aerobics … now that’s waiting well. Being active helps with my nervous energy, but sometimes I just won’t get up and do the right thing. Good for you!
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 1:13am

    Barbara Suggs Love your post!!! I’m 74 and still learning
    how to wait well 🙏🙏✝
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 8 at 8:08am

    Kim Henson I can’t believe you’re 74, Barbara Suggs. Please tell me we start learning faster the older we get. 🙂 Thanks for your comment! ❤
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:14am

    Rebecca Barnes-Hogg Great post, Kim! Waiting is not my strong point. I've learned to just breathe, take care of what I can control, and pray for strength to deal with whatever comes next.
    Love · Reply · 3 · September 8 at 8:18am

    Kim Henson It's not mine either, Rebecca Barnes-Hogg. I love your list of three things. ❤ It's a good reminder to do what I can. That way, I'm up for handling whatever comes my way that I can't control.
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:17am

    Delilah Lewis Kim Henson your post is awesome I am a great waiter. I trust the Lord to keep me safe in the path of Hurricane Irma, I have had a lot of things going in this year😘
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 8 at 10:44am

    Kim Henson Thanks bunches, Delilah Lewis! ❤ I want to grow up to be like you. 🙂 One day, I'd love to write a post announcing that I'm also great at waiting. I think I have faith, but when I watch myself during times like this, I wonder. I do pray to have more faith – I think I read that in the Bible and it'a another great idea.
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:19am

    Gayle Sloan Oh my!!! This post is so me!!!
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 8 at 10:55am

    Kim Henson It helped me to admit it, Gayle Sloan. I guess it's like going to a 12-step meeting. 😉 lol. I could finally sit still and finish the post.
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:21am

    Mary Catherine Sargent Thank YOU Kim. So happy we had our Life paths cross each others. Waiting, I have done a lot of that in hospitals with my husband and my mother. I look back, only way I got through those long hours God would put a stranger there in some special way. One that needed Me and I needed them. Waiting is hard, I waited eight years, God answered that prayer this year. Just keep us all thinking deeper every day, again thank you.
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 8 at 11:47am

    Kim Henson Awe, Mary Catherine Sargent. I'm so happy we're friends. ❤ God is there in our waiting – I need that reminder every day. Sometimes I forget when I'm afraid. I'd love to hear about the prayer God answered after eight years. A special story, I'm sure. I love you and our FB friendship.
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:24am

    Debbie Johnson This is my favorite post of yours for it takes on a theme of something we must all deal with in life. It's all about how we handle it! You wrote this beautifully.
    Love · Reply · 2 · September 8 at 1:48pm

    Kim Henson Thanks so much, Debbie Johnson. You're so right, none of us gets out of waiting, so we just as well learn how to handle it well. I appreciate your sweet comment. ❤
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:26am

    Linda Moody Just finished reading and love this post! Have to admit I don't wait well! At least I don't think I do. This latest hurricane is actually driving me nuts! Way too much time to prepare for a storm that can't seem to decide where to go! I'm just sayin', "It Is Well With My Soul"!
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 8 at 2:18pm

    Kim Henson "It is Well With My Soul," Linda – a favorite song of mine. ❤ Irma started to drive me a little nuts too, especially the night I couldn't fall asleep for thinking about it and the damage it could do. I hate when that happens. I'm stealing your saying.
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:32am

    Mary Orth Moss Great read Kim! Thanks for the perspective!
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 9 at 7:21am

    Kim Henson Thank you, Mary Orth Moss. I appreciate your comment here and on my blog post. ❤
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:32am

    Margo M Stilley Wow Kim. Just what I needed right now, as I have sat "waiting" in this house across the street from the beach…
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 9 at 8:36am

    Kim Henson I know what you mean, Margo M Stilley. It's great to be so close to the ocean until times like this roll around. Then I wish I lived in Florence or Columbia again or anywhere but here. 😉 I'm happy we could "wait well" together on Thursday evening. ❤
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 1:34am

    Jackie Waters Miles College football in today. We love it so passing the time. Fla folks are really in distress.
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 9 at 2:47pm

    Kim Henson I'm not a sports fan, but I know the games helped a lot of people wait well today, Jackie Waters Miles. I'm happy we're out of the woods along the Grand Strand. Saying lots of prayers for Florida. ❤
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:36am

    Maureen Shaffer I'm not good at waiting! Thats something I'm going to work on! I too have spent way too much time worrying over something I can't control. The serenity prayer is a constant reminder for times like this!
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 9 at 8:48pm

    Kim Henson Oh, how I love the serenity prayer, Maureen Shaffer. ❤ I cross-stitched it for my mom back when I was in my 20s (a long time ago). It's been a special prayer since way back, so I'm not sure why it's not one of the first things that comes to mind during times like this. I need more practice obviously. 😉
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 1:41am · Edited

    Diane Sismour Your words ring true. Stay safe. Sharing forward.
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 12:39am

    Kim Henson Thanks for passing along this post, Diane Sismour. I appreciate your comment. ❤
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:44am

    Summer Turner Great post, Kim! I especially relate to your statement, "It’s hard enough to do my own life under ideal circumstances, much less high winds of stress."
    Love · Reply · 2 · September 10 at 12:44am

    Kim Henson Thanks, Summer Turner! ❤ That's my daily struggle, getting my own life instead of letting every distraction, big and small, get in the way.
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 2:52pm

    Summer Turner It really is an inner & and outer game, isn't it?
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 6:06pm

    Kim Henson Summer Turner, it is. It's a juggling act because I want to be there for others and that's the easier and more comfortable thing for me, but I have this thing called "my life" and I know I'm supposed to be doing it too. I probably should have never ventured into "getting your own life. " 😉
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 8:59pm

    Summer Turner I can see how "getting your own life" is how you're "there for others": modeling for others what that looks like and helping them get their own life.
    Haha · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 9:05pm

    Kim Henson Summer Turner, I'm trying, but I'm more of a "don't" sometimes. 😀 lol. Having that as my tag line does keep me more accountable. I'm always thinking about it.
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 9:08pm

    Becky Johnson This is so profound Kim. For all sorts of waiting room experiences. Or as I sometimes cal then the "season between trapezes" as you let go of one reality and are suspended until the next appears. Must share!
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 12:45am
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    Kim Henson Oh, my, Becky Johnson, the "season between trapezes." I'm going to remember this one and probably repeat it often. I can sure relate. I've spent most of this year "hanging by a thread," as I've put it, but your phrase better describes it. Thanks for that and for stopping by! ❤
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 2:58pm · Edited

    Julie Patrick-Barnhill Well said!
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 12:54am

    Kim Henson Thanks so much, Julie Patrick-Barnhill! ❤
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 2:58pm

    Kathy Andros Eckert Yes!! No wonder I love you so much! I believe that we are like birds of feather! This song is one that I run to often, and I find so much peace in it!! Do you like it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnjeMwxFuBA

    Jonny Diaz – Breathe – Official Lyric Video
    Get the song "Breathe" instantly when you…
    YOUTUBE.COM
    Like · Reply · Remove Preview · 2 · September 10 at 8:21am

    Kim Henson I have to wait 🙂 to listen until John gets up from his nap. #smallhouseproblems And how appropriate for this post. lol.
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 4:03pm · Edited

    Kim Henson We are crazy birds of a feather, Kathy Andros Eckert. I'm so happy to be doing this life with friends like you. ❤ ❤ ❤ I love this song. A friend used to remind me all the time to breathe, and I needed this reminder right now. Thank you. I love you! 😍
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 8:47pm

    Kathy Andros Eckert I love you too, sweet Kim!!! It is all good and His plans for us are great!! Give John a big hug from me!!!!
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 8:49pm

    Kim Henson He said "hi" and sends a big hug to you too!
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 9:06pm

    Maria Franken Yes! Great article… I found this quote related"
    “The secret of patience is doing something else in the meanwhile” ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton (British politician, poet, critic and prolific novelist, 1803-1873).

    And on the topic of waiting and paitence, my Mom use to always quote this one:
    “Patience is a virtue, Possess it if you can, Seldom found in woman, Never found in man” lol 😀
    Haha · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 10:45am · Edited

    Kim Henson Oh my gosh, I love both of those quotes, Maria Franken. 😍 You're mom sounds wise and funny! I'd heard the first one before and wish I had included it in the blog post, but I didn't remember it. I'm happy for the reminder. I keep a notebook of quotes, so I'm adding that one to it. Thank you! ❤
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 3:57pm · Edited

    Lyn Snyder What a wonderful blog❤️ I know how you feel. When I first got sick I waited and waited for a diagnosis. Once I knew even though it was bad news I was relieved. I then decided not to live and wait until I got better or worse. I decided to "go for it" and let go and let God. It was really easy because my FAITH grew by leaps and bounds. I decided not to wait for my death but to cease every moment and spread GOD'S GLORY to everyone I met or knew.
    I have failed badly sharing GOD'S WORD, but I have tried.
    So like you let's decide to decide to learn how to wait faithfully.🙏❤️
    A great read and thanks for sharing, I love you Kim Henson💕💞😍😘😳😜
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 1:51pm

    Kim Henson Thanks so much for sharing, Lyn Snyder! That's exactly what I would have done … waited for a diagnosis, then waited for healing. Isn't it funny how much we are alike? Well, maybe you don't think it's funny, but I sure do. 😀 I want to wait faithfully, which means getting on with my life! ❤ Yes, let's make a decision and hold each other to it. I love you lots!
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 4:00pm

    Lyn Snyder It is really weird how much we are alike. I think we have "old souls". So yes, let's hold each other to it!! God will take care of tomorrow🙏🙏❤️💕😍😘
    Love · Reply · 1 · Yesterday at 12:07am

    Kim Henson Lyn Snyder, my little granddaughter is an "old soul" too. ❤ I love that about her. You and me … In this together. 😍🎶💕🔆
    Like · Reply · Yesterday at 12:50am

    Donna Horton We all have trouble waiting. I have learned that God really is in control and I really am NOT! I've learned to say…God, what would you have me do while you are working this out? We went on a mission trip recently where the theme became "DELAY"….it was amazing to see what God gave us to do in those delays…so worth the wait. And no, I do not have it all together by any means, but I am learning to appreciate the wait as He works. Until next wait.. then I'll have to learn it all again!
    Love · Reply · 1 · 17 hrs

    Kim Henson Donna Horton, I love this! I'm the same way, I've got it down this time around … until next time. 😉 But, like you, I am finally 100% convinced I'm not in control. I have my part to do, but it's what He's assigned me, not a new idea I came up with. I bet you have some stories to tell about the delays. ❤
    Like · Reply · 9 hrs

  3. From Facebook (Maureen Shaffer) ~

    Love this! Wise words from my friend Kim Henson.

    Maria Franken, Jackie Waters Miles and 4 others

    Kim Henson Thanks so much for passing this along, Maureen Shaffer. I appreciate it.
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 3:12pm

    Maureen Shaffer Love it Kim Henson
    Love · Reply · 1 · 16 hrs

    Maria Franken I didn’t think you’d mind, and reposted this article, too. 🙂
    Like · Reply · 1 · 16 hrs

    Kim Henson Didn’t think I’d mind, Maria Franken? I’m honored. Thanks so much! ❤
    Like · Reply · 1 · 14 hrs

  4. From Facebook (Maria Franken) ~

    Waiting and praying… A dear friend of mine wrote up this great article about “waiting well”

    Maria Franken and 4 others

    Kim Henson Thanks so much for passing this along, Maria Franken! ❤ I love you, my sweet friend.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 11 hrs

    Maria Franken Love u back; love ur front, too, Kim Henson! 😍lol
    Haha · Reply · 1 · 10 hrs

    Kim Henson 😍🤣
    Like · Reply · 1 hr

    LloydRia Wilson Been in waiting. This has been helpful thanks.

    · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs

    Kim Henson I'm so happy it was helpful! Thanks for your comment.
    Like · Reply · Just now

  5. From Facebook (Mary Lancaster) ~

    I just keep reading this and rereading. I fully believe how we wait makes a big difference in the answer.

    1 Vi Crutchley

    Kim Henson Thanks so much for passing this along, Mary! ❤
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 3:40pm

  6. From Facebook (Diane Sismour) ~

    For those of us who feel constantly in limbo, waiting for outcomes, or too busy waiting for the right time to start doing_______(fill in the blank). Read this blog post.
    Show Attachment

    1 like

    Kim Henson Thanks so much for passing this along, Diane Sismour! ❤
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 1:42am

  7. From Facebook (Becky Johnson) ~

    The opening quote. So so good.

    1 like

    Laura Karlis Really great article!
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 2:23pm

    Kim Henson Thanks, Laura! ❤
    Like · Reply · 1 · September 10 at 3:38pm

    Kim Henson Thanks so much for passing this along, Becky Johnson! ❤ I appreciate it.
    Like · Reply · September 10 at 3:38pm

  8. From Facebook (Kim Henson) ~

    Natalie Rakoci This is truth! My! I’m in a constant state of learning to wait well, rather than the alternatives…
    Love · Reply · 1 · September 14 at 3:47pm

    Kim Henson Me too, Natalie Rakoci. I’m beginning to think life is the waiting game. I’m getting better at it … lots of practice. 😉
    Like · Reply · 1 · 11 hrs

    Helen Spalding Fowler · Friends with Dawn Bugni
    This is very interesting since I’m just now signing onto facebook after an ordeal with surgery at the VA Hospital. Was told to be there at 7am Wednesday. They prepped me as if I was going into surgery very soon. But I waited 8 hours, watching many others come and go to and from surgery. “Doogie Houser” told me “that happens sometimes”!!! WOW
    Wow · Reply · 1 · September 15 at 12:58pm

    Kim Henson Wow is right, Helen Spalding Fowler. That would have made me so anxious. I’ve never heard of that kind of wait for surgery. I bet this post did hit home! More than you wanted it to. 🙂 I hope you’re recovering and doing well.
    Like · Reply · 11 hrs

  9. It’s interesting that I’m just reading this now, after I didn’t “wait well” earlier this month. Like you, I had a lot of anxiety about Irma’s approach, especially since I planned to leave for PA and my husband’s memorial service, just about the time the governor was considering an evacuation order. I fretted for days about when I should leave and what I should take with me and almost made myself sick over it. I felt like I had just begun to grieve for my husband and didn’t want to grieve the loss of my home also. You would think I would be a better waiter after waiting for my husband to get better, and then waiting for him to die. But I think those experiences just created more anxiety around the whole waiting issue. I love that your posts almost always seem to bring issues into focus that I am currently struggling with. You would think that at my advanced age of 69 I would have learned to deal with all this crap. Anyway, thanks again for making me think about things I should be thinking about.

    • Hahaha, Mary. I doubt you meant to be funny, but I laughed out loud at, “You would think that at my advanced age of 69 I would have learned to deal with all this crap.” You’d think, but here we are! 🙂

      I imagine it was too much for you to handle all at once – the grief of losing Rich and the anxiety of hurricanes, which meant facing what else you may lose. I’m not sure if this is one of those things we get better at with practice or if we need an attitude adjustment or if we just have to wait for heaven to relax.

      I’m sorry you almost made yourself sick, but I’m not sure many of us would have handled your situation with any more calmness than you did. The unknown is stressful and so is the thought of losing everything. I am relieved for you that you still have your home and you didn’t return to chaos around the beach.

      I’m thinking about you. Love you! ❤

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